The day the tsunami never came, we all looked into our cupboards. At my house, there was nary a candlestick nor flashlight in sight, and if the water had gone out I would have been bathing in 2006 Pinotage. In a disaster, if the boats stop coming, we’ll be out of food in four days–everyone knows this. But for those 96 hours, what would we eat? In the case of my cupboards: hazelnuts.